Today my son came downstairs and told us that his good friend of years ago was dead. My son and this young man parted ways about 6 years ago. My son wrestled with the decision to break the friendship because his friend was into hard drugs and he didn’t want any part of it. Overnight his friend died from an overdose.
I remember my son talking to me about this potential breaking of his friendship while I was in the hospital 6 years ago. I had had my double lung transplant the year before and I was in because I had the flu. My son came over to visit and he was really upset about his friend. He told me that he was thinking about breaking the friendship but he felt torn because his friend was so much into the drugs that my son was afraid that is something happened to his friend, my son wasn’t sure he could handle the aftermath. He said he would feel extremely guilty for “abandoning” his friend in his time of need.
I completely understood his feelings but I told him that his friend was going to do what he wanted to do regardless of how close or not he stayed with him.
It’s such a hard thing. I asked my son if he was ok and he told me that he was. He said that he mourned his friend 6 years ago, he just happened to die today.
I know how it feels to lose someone so close. In 1972 I lost my brother at the age of 14. He was found hanging on his closet door one Saturday night. Our mom found him. I wasn’t living at home at the time and I can tell you that this news was the most painful news I had ever received. For my parents and siblings it was the thing that tore us apart. My mother, father and a sister has also passed since then. None of these things are easy to bear. My mother and father’s precarious marriage did not survive my brother’s death. Many of us siblings fell apart also.
I plan on going to the funeral home to hug his mom and dad and his sister. There are no words that can ease the pain, but a hug from someone who can at least understand the feelings may help somewhat.
Please pray for Ian and his family.
Sandy Ozanich (c) 2012