Sweet Surprises. . .

Yesterday my husband and me celebrated 36 years of marriage!  Whew, that’s a long time, a lifetime when you consider how long marriages last these days.

I just love this guy!  He is a good man, a stable man, a man who would do whatever his neighbor needs. . .in fact I told him once that he makes a better Christian than me.  He knows what’s expected of him and he passes with flying colors!

On the other hand, I have not always measured up to my own expectations.  But that’s just me.  I do this to myself and it makes for some rocky conversations.  What do I mean?  I mean that I can be heard to say to him, “I just wish you could tell me how you feel about that.”  Or “I never know how to take you, just give me a clue”.  And again “It’s called conversation ~ I say something then you say something.”

Does this sound familiar???  This has been the pattern for all these years.  I don’t know why it bothered me so much, but it did, until now.  I may be slow on the uptake but it did take 36 years to come to peaceful terms with my husband’s silent love and devotion.

There are the sweet surprises like this morning when I went out to get in my car to drive our grandson to pre-school, I noticed that he had washed my car.  May not seem significant to you, but it is to me.  He will do things for me but he won’t tell me that he has.  It is a present waiting to be found.  Another time it will be that he did the dishes when he knew I was just too tired to get them done.  If I happen to mention that I would love to have such and such, the next time he goes shopping he will buy it and bring it home, well within reason of course.  It would be fun to say, “boy I’d love to have that  new car, oh wait, he did!  He did because my old car was OLD, had 87,000 miles and no longer had air-conditioning.  So you can imagine that over these 36 years there have been many “sweet surprises”

I used to get annoyed when he would leave things for me to find, things that he had done in the house that needed done.  I thought  that he just wanted to see how long it would take me to “find” his “gift”.  But it was this morning that the “light” finally went on when I noticed how nice and clean my car was and I knew he did it.

How many sweet surprises do our loved ones do for us that we don’t recognize as sweet surprise gifts?  For me there were thousands of them over the course of 36 years.

My husband is a man of very few words.  He is a man who likes to tease and to please.  He is a conundrum for those who don’t know him well but he is my conundrum who has taught me to look for the surprises in life.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY HONEY!!!

Breathing. . .It’s A Good Thing!

When I first started this blog I mentioned in my profile that I was a double lung transplant recipient.  That’s true!  I have been breathing with new lungs for just over 6 years now.

It’s hard to believe that 7 years ago I was dying.  I was on oxygen 24/7. Living in those days was really not living, it was existing the best way I could.  I was attached to an oxygen concentrator ~ that is a machine that manufacturers oxygen from room air and pumps it through the concentrator to either my tubing and lungs or to my portable oxygen tank so I could leave the house.  This way I could drive, go to pulmonary rehab classes, shopping, etc.  At least I wasn’t completely homebound.  The tubing that attached to the concentrator itself was 50 ft. long and enabled me to move through the house, from the 2nd floor to the basement.  I joked to my family and friends that I had a new “leash on life”, literally!

Living from day to day was difficult.  It took so much energy to just go upstairs to go to the bathroom and taking a shower ~ forget it!!!  I had to wear my oxygen in the shower and move slowly.  I don’t think the average person realizes how much energy it takes to take a shower. . .I was very shocked.

I was suffering from emphysema with an asthma component and my lungs by the time of transplant were only functioning at 20%.  The diagnosis came at a young age in my opinion, I was only 48.

As time goes by I will have much to say about this experience which continues to this day.  Just because I had a transplant does not mean that I no longer have to look after myself, on the contrary, there are many things I have to do in order to stay as healthy as I can.

At the beginning, right after transplant and after I got home (I was home 6 weeks after transplant) I had to come back to the hospital for bloodwork.  This bloodwork was done to keep a check on my “levels”.  Taking the anti-rejection medication Prograf, my Prograf level must stay between 8 – 10, if it goes too high they cut my Prograf dose, if too low they add more.  Every other month I had to have a bronchoscopy to check for infections, rejection and MRSA which I happened to get in my lungs while a patient, proably in ICU.  If they found the MRSA was active I had to have a PICC line installed so I could go home on IV antibotics.  This happened about 6 times over  the first 2 years post-transplant.

I must say how very happy I was and still am to be able to breathe without assistance and to be able to chase my 3 yr old grandson around the dining room table. . .who can measure that delight???

I can virtually walk, talk and chew gum all at the same time!!!  hahaha  BUT, to get serious for a while, I hope that if you are smoking that you will find a way to quit.  I know, I know, I heard it too from so many people but I just wasn’t ready or did not want to just because someone else said I should.  I’m like that.  Tell me to do one thing and I’ll turn around and do the opposite just because.  I didn’t want to quit, I liked smoking too much, but when I couldn’t breathe it became even tougher to quit. . .figure that?

I will never forget my lung dr’s comment about 2 or 3 years before transplant, “Sandy we’ve done everything we can for you.  We’ve maxed you out on your meds, that’s all we have for you.  I believe that if you don’t have a transplant you won’t live to see 60”.  I was in my early 50’s when he said that.  He explained that I wasn’t quite sick enough to consider or work toward transplant but that he would let me know.  How very strange to hear that you won’t live beyond the next decade.  I didn’t cry, I just felt weird. . .I can’t even explain it.  Perhaps I was just numb to the info.

I got the call at the end of 2004, I should contact UPMC Presbyterian about an evaluation for a lung transplant. . .

to be continued. . .

(Please visit my new blog www.breathingitsagoodthing.wordpress.com which is new as of today, 1/16/12 – will be offering more information on Lung Transplantation)